The Travel Diary of KJTaylor (compiled by KJTaylor)

Note: this diary was copied exactly, no editing or correction was done. Some of the more confusing parts have notes added for clarification

England ( the year 2000, age, 14)

Must Sees

· White Horse Hill, Uffington-Didn't see

· Castell y Gwynt, Castle of the Winds, near the Glyders in Snowdonia-Ditto

· Wytham Wood, near Oxford-ditto

· Buckden Pike-same

· Great Whernside-didn't see

· Grassinton in Wharfedale-ditto

Diary

9/9/'00 {scribble}

Well, we've left ol' Australia for at last, I'm on the plane (jumbo jet) to Bangkok, and it is 9.50pm in Canberra time. We're somewhere near an island that has a city called Raba on it. I know this because-well, this plane is the place to spend a 9hr approx. trip in. it has a blanket, face mask (for sleeping), toothbrush&paste, 'bed'socks and a tv for every passenger!! Of course, the tv is the best part. It has no less than 12 channels! 1;Premiere, 2;Premiere, 3;Premiere, 4;Premiere(I think 'premiere' means movie), 5;Film Club, 6;Blockbuster, 7;Premiere, 8;Family Film (endless reruns of Disney's Tarzan), 9;Comedy Classics, 10;Comedy, 11;This Week(sport/news), 12;The Juice(kids stuff), and 13;Moving Map. 13 is not really a channel, but if you switch to it at any time in flight, you get a map with a route in red on it and a little white plane on the line, which moves very slowly, showing exactly where you are. It's the best quality tv you can get, too, perfect picture. Ahh, sweet luxury.

9/9/00(again)

urrrg

11/9/00 (M's b-day) Tuesday, London, and 12.9.00 (?) Wednesday, London Youth Hostel

(this means that the entry was written over two days)

We arrived in Heathrow on Sunday, and were met by a lady called Lilla, who is a second cousin to my Mum. She is a generous and relaxed kind of person and is married with two grown-up sons, a cat called Plato (after the philosipher) and two perculiar creatures called Chinchillas, with mouse ears, short squirrel tails, rat paws with fur on, rabbit faces, enormous whiskers, bulging black eyes, and fur so soft and silky and light that you can barely feel it. No wonder they used to be bred for their skins. I held one and it pooped on me.

We went to her house, met her sons Robert and Simon, one of whom was lying on the floor with several of his friends, covered in blankets and groaning because they had hangovers (this was from the night before, when they celebrated one of the son's 18th birthday). Their house is tiny, and the ceiling is so low that you'd think it belonged to a family of dwarves. We hung around for a while, drinking o.j, until the corpses on the floor resurrected themselves and recovered sufficiently to leave. Then we went to a private school and watched one of the sons play rugby. Claire and I both had motion sickness from the trip, but Claire's was the worst because she had a headache as well as nausea (mine wasn't so bad, but every time I went into a small room like a toilet, the walls would start moving and the floor would start lurching).

We went back to Lilla's house where we had lunch and met the chinchillas (at first, when they were first mentioned, I thought they were cats because I'd never heard of Chinchillas before).

At last, Lilla drove us into London. It took an hour or more, and I fell asleep after a while. Unfortunately, the sleep did not refresh me at all (I felt ghastly when we arrived).

We were dropped off over the road from our youth hostel, where Lilla kindly gave us some loose change to spend. We walked the rest of the way alone (our packs weighed tons, literally).

Just out the front of the hostel some nutcase was standing in the gutter, just pointing at every car or pedestrain as they went past. As Dad said, it looked like he thought he was conducting the universe as it went by. Claire reckoned he was counting everything. Mum and Dad said he was on drugs, but later Mum said he must be skitzophrenic. The last we saw of him, he ws in the middle of the road with a truck heading straight for him. Hope he's okay now. (9/10, actually, he was prob'ly taking a survey).

The next day we spent sightseeing with a friend of Mum's called Jenny Atton. First we saw rode the London Eye, which is a huge Ferris Wheel that goes really slow to let you see the {unidentified scribble} veiw of the city. Then we saw the houses of parliament, Westminister Abbey and Buckingham Palace. The houses of P. and the Abbey were impressive and the Palace was extremely ugly, to say the least (ps, really).

I forgot to mention Bangkok. Or, at least, that part the part that I saw, which was Bangkok Airport. Hell made into {unidentified scribble} architecture!

Imagine a giant rabbit warren above ground. Now make the walls square. Now picture linoleum floors, with potted plastic plants and occasional rows of horrid orange plastic chairs screwed to the walls. Mystarious random moving walkways and lights just a little too bright, and lastly, now and then the 'tunnels' are broken by a little room with mostly glass walls, attached {scribble} to the wall like a parisite, with a sign saying 'smoking room'. Inside are chairs all around the walls and ashtrays. A lot of them contain a handful of people in the act of commiting the slowest, least convenient and most expensive form of suicide to be found anywhere in the Universe as a whole.

There were also a few open areas with shops and cafés. The only thing left to say is that I found a 5ba coin on a seat just as we were about to get back on our jumbo jet.

Right, back to London. Well, it was dirty, and it was crowded, and there were a few homeless people around, though not as many as many as you might think. After Wednesday we saw Trafalger Square and the 'orrible pidgeons, one of whom was kind enough to poop on my favourite shirt.

I tried to climb on the lions statues with no success whatsoever.

We saw some squirrels in some park near Buckingham Palace, and-would you BELEIVE it-BLACK SWANS!! Far from home, weren't they? In fact, we didn't see a white swan until that weekend.

We saw these in the following days;

The Horse Guard Barracks, St Paul's, Tower of London, That Place Where the PM Lives, St Martinfields, Tower Bridge, the Thames (several times, unfortunately), The Globe (theatre where William S used to work), Greenwich, the Cutty Sark (from the outside), London Bridge, big Ben (from a distance), London Bridge That Fell Down, King's Cross (where Harry Potter catches the Hogwarts Express. Couldn't find Platform 9 3/4, though), the British Library, Nelson's Column, Harrod's-sorry, Harrod's- the Underground, and smeg knows what else besides.

19/9/00

So, now we're in Ireland for the second night. We came over on the ferry from Wales, and spent the night in a Youth Hostel. Today we drove to Waterford, where we saw the crystal factory. From there we came to the town of Cork (snigger) and enjoyed an inferior meal in a takeaway shop.

After London, we had gone to Lilla's house again, seen old Basing House (or what was left of it after Cromwell's cronies had finished with it. I broke the law, and went and stole a bit of brick from one of the crumbling walls. If the cops come and arrest me, I'll know who to send my hired cronies to sort out, so don't dob me in if you like your skull the shape it is), stayed the night on the floor at Lilla's, saw Stonehenge, and left for Brighton, which is a seaside town. Uncle Ken, who is actually my great, great uncle, lives there. We stayed with him overnight. He is a very old man, whose eyesight and hearing are almost gone, but his mind is still all there. He is definitely Sharper than a Razorblade.

We were intending to leave in the morning, but those wretched truckdivers were preventing fuel trucks from getting to the petrol stations in their protest about deisel prices, so our hired car had run almost dry. We stayed another night, and in the morning, Mum got us some fuel (by walking a very long way).

Before we left, I gave Uncle Ken an Australian 50c coin (though I had to shout quite loudly before he knew I was giving it to him). In return, he gave me an Irish £1 coin. And when we were hugging him farewell, he pressed a £10 note into the sticky paws claws of Claire and I! these pommies are a generous lot! (I forgot to mention the box of chocolates Lilla gave me. And the chocolate powder, the Savage Stone Age book (from the 'Horrible History' series), the Stonehenge spoon&deck of cards and a whole lot of other stuff she gave us)

Oh sod. Pardon my Latin. I got it mixed up. We saw Uncle Ken, and then we went to Lilla's. Sod.

Aaaaaanywaay, after we had had lunch at Stonehenge, we said 'bye to Lilla and her husband whatisname and drove on to Bath, where we stayed in another Youth Hostel overnight and saw the Roman Baths. Bewdiful. After that we drove Fishguarde in Wales, and {scribble} caught the ferry to Ireland. he ferry was hooj. It had two levels, a bar, a café, a business area and a shop. Oh, and a games arcade.

20/9

Right, I've caught up at last, so now I can write about things that happened today!

Bugger. It's time for bed.

26/9(groan)

I was going to say that we saw the Cork Gaol Museum on the 20th. Next day, we drove to Killarny, and stopped on the way to see Blarney Castle, where I refrained from kissing the stone, but was brave enough to enter a dark tunnel where no-one goes (it was a dead end).

Next day (in Cork), we saw (in Killarny) In Killarny, we left immediately for Cork, stopping on the way out of town we st for a horse&carriage ride up to the Gap of Dunlow, which was very beautiful. Then, we drove to Dublin via Limerick, which was a dump.

In Dublin, we stayed with some more Rellies; Paul, his wife Phil (Phil?) and their two sons Aaron (spelled differently {Airón}), aged thirteen, and Ciáron (?), aged sixteen. They were all very friendly, except for Ciáron (pronounced Keron), who had long dreadlocks and said barely anything.

We spent the next 3 nights with them, and Claire and I spent most of it playing computer games with Airón or watching endless reruns of the Matrix.

On a few forced outings, we went out and saw a few sights; a park with deer, Guiness Brewery, some river, the bay, and the streets of Dublin. We also bought Claire a hideously expensive new recorder carved out of ebony. Unfortunately, watching the Matrix left me out of sorts for a long tme, because it gets me into such a high, that I get very, very depressed and grumpy afterwards. (note, when I get home, I shall start saving up for the Matrix on video/DVD/whatever).(oh, and a trenchcoat).(and sunglasses).

After Dublin, we left for England on the ferry, after Paul had presented me with and enormous volume of the Far Side. Now we're in the Lake District for the third night and I have at last recovered from the Matrix low.

We've gone on two long walks, seen Beatrix Potter's house, and an 'Ultimate Display/Attraction/Thingy' about her books.

Tomorrow we're leaving for Scotland.

29/9(?)

Well, we're in Scotland now, staying in a 'Bothy' (small cottage), in the Mountains.

We're with a buch 'o friends/rellies/whatevers of Mum and Dad, all grown-ups, and one dog. We've only just arrived after a long day-long car trip.

We stopped on the way for lunch in a car-park, where the only grass area was the strip around the tarmac area, and this was covered in rubbish and dog doo.

However, there was a bench-and-chairs piece for us to sit at. It proved so rickety that Mum&Claire and I all voted it unsafe. Dad disagreed, sat down, and was just saying 'look, it's fine', when the whole thing collapsed entirely.

We had lunch on the ground.

Tehn, after stocking up on lollies, we drove on. After a long, long, loooong time, we reached Scotland. We stopped in some village for dinner, and, after the most unfriendly foreign encounters we have had so far, left for the next town, and found a decent restaurant on the way out of Rude Town (this was the infamous town of Crainlarich mentioned in Dad's memoirs).

At last we had dinner, which was excellent (and chips), and went on into the mountains to this Bothy.

Good Night!

30/9

{scribble} Today we climbed a mountain called the 'pap' (basically translates as 'the boob') I only found this out after we had climbed the wretched thing, although I can now see how it got it's name.

it was muddy, it was steep, it was hot, it was midges. At the top it was great view, stone cairns and bilberry bushes. Oh, and midges. We slid down the other side on our arses (corrected from 'butts' at Dad's request). There were some great mossy wossnames (glens, I think is what I meant here) and a few froggies, but we were all either in owchland or swearland, or in mine and Claire's cases, lalaland.

Now, of course, I feel great.

G'night, Y'all.

1/10

31/9 eESunday is lazy day, etc etc etc. ex

the Groan-ups are bumbling around downstairs. Kathy (sister to Lilla) made bacon and egg rolls for brekky, and ever since we've been lying around. Mum and Dad want to go for a walk 'round the Loch, Kathy and Claire want to climb another mountain, and I want to stay here. NO WAY am I going ANYWHERE!

2/10/00

Well, yesterday I did end up going somewhere. Dad and Kathy's son John took me to a visitor's centre where we watched an awful video about the Glencoe massacre (I paid very little attention to it). then we left after I had bought a coin with Robert the Bruce on it. I intend to save the rest of my money (I didn't, of course). Everyone at home is back at school now. Heh, heh, heh.

Then we went to Glencoe Villiageand looked in a craft shop and an Outdoor shop. Claire and Mum and Kathy had gone for another walk up another mountain. We got back to the Bothy first and had the fire lit for them.

* * * *

We left the Bothy this morning, with good wishes and a pair of boots Kathy lent me. Minus the box of 'Twilight Mints' Lilla gave me, as I produced it after dinner, when everyone was feeling warm, mellow, contented, and above all, sweet-toothed.

Lo and Behold, every chocolate was eaten. I had two. Now we're on the road to the Skye ferry.

4/10

lean Left Skye this morning, now heading for Kathy's place. In Skye, on the first night, we walked to the end of a pier near our hotel, where crab-traps were stacked whe and I found a nearly full bottle of red wine. Mum and Dad said they didn't want it, but I took it anywqay, and they still drank it with dinner, which was m fish for M+D, lamb chops for Claire, and a piece of both fo me. With that was veggies+roasted, pre-frozen potatoes. Next day, we went and saw the the Tallisker Whiskey distillery and a castle. Next morning (today), we left for Kathy's. On the way, we stopped and saw some fish ladder, where I bought a small knife for picnics, letter-opening or fruit-cutting, basically a pen-knife. Now on the road again.

5/10

Spent the night at Kathy's afer waiting for 2 hours outside her house while she was at work. Claire and I were busting for the loo, so we walked to a pub nearbye, used the loo and had beer and chips. Kathy turned up at the pub because we had left a note for her, and we went back to her house, where she made a sumptuous feast of carrot, onion and bacon soup, with bread and cheese, and icecream for afters.

Now Kathy's gone to work, and we're going to St Andrew's for something.

6/10

Went to St A's and saw the ruins of a cathederal. D+M bought a fake-stone gargoyle called a Hobble, which we later gave to Kathy. After we had left, we bought lunch from a bakery.

During lunch, M realised that the guy in the (cathederal) shop hadn't given her any change for the Hobble {unidentified scribble}. As the change was £30! M+C went to get it. Dad and I went to the bank for some money, but the teller machine said 'no can do, Deidrie' (official licenced Mum saying), so we left and went to the catheceral, where we found a releived Mum and Claire, who had retreived the cash and were finishing lunch. We all went back to the shop again because D had decided to get a gargoyle too, this one was called a Pug, and was very similar to the Hobble (the Pug is now hanging in our entrance hall). Then we went back to the bakery and got a jam-and-icing biscuit each (yummy!).

We walked around for a while {scribble} and looked at the university, then went back to Kathy's for another feast, this time of Haggis (one vegetarian, one offal), mashed neeps (turnips) and potatoes, and carrots. The Haggis was great (even though we knew what was in it).

(7/10) Next morning, we (D, C, M and Yrs Truly) caught the train to Edinburgh, where we met John and Jenny, who are Kathy's children. With them, we went and saw an enormous (7 stories all up, no pun intended) bookshop. It had everything, including a small Starbuck's café, boasting first-rate coffee (acording to Mum), and some excellent muffins. I had a banana and date one. Then, they escorted us to Edinburgh Castle, where we parted from them (with a promise that they could stay with us when they came to Australia. Two years later, they still haven't shown up) before going inside. I took an audio tour thingy, you know, a headphones thingy (you punch in the codes on things you see, and the headphones play you this little speil concerning it in a theatrical voice), and went through ahead on my own. I spent hours looking at everything and listening to every bit of info. When I had seen and heard everything, I went to the front gate and waited for M, C + D. They didn't show up for ages, and while I was waiting, I went into the gift shop and bought a beautiful silver keyring of a Celtic water-spirit crafted in pewter. It's on my bag right now (now, it's on my housekeys). When M, D + C made their appearance, we all went down into town for lunch. I had macaroni cheese (lo-fat) with chips (lo-fat?) and a chocolate brownie with walnuts on top and toffee sauce poured over it (definitely not lo-fat).

(8/10) We came back that evening for dinner with Kathy, which was pasta.

I am in disgrace because I left my raincoat on Skye, but fortunately M called the Hostel and made arrangements for it to be sent ahead to Lilla's place for us to pick up. Now it's next morning, and we have left Kathy's place with good wishes and a bag of Cox's Orange Pippin apples, which are sweet and delicious. We're going to Stirling.

8/10

In Stirling, we saw Stirling Castle, which I thought wasn't very good, but I bought a great pair of Roman coin earrings, and some Roman and Celtic coins. After the castle, we went to Argyl House, which was beautiful. I bought a coin of Mary, Queen of Scots and a ring with 'Love id Beautiful' on it in French, or some other language (now on second toe of right foot for the second year). Then, we drove to a remote Hostel for the night. Next morning, we went and saw Hadrian's Wall. What can I say? It was a wall. Then we left, and {unidentified scribble} we've just arrived in York YHA.

{unidentified scribble} 11/10

On the 9th, we split into went and saw a Viking display, with real Viking skeletons! Then we saw abc (another bloody cathedral).

On the 10th, M+C went to Bradford, to buy a recorder (high quality hardwood recorders were unavailable or difficult to obtain in Australia at the time) and see the photographic museum, where they saw a scene from Wallace and Gromit in the Wrong Trousers, and {scribble} two models (Ginger and Rocky) from Chicken Run (lucky).

D and I went into town and saw the York Dungeon, which was half history thingy, half house of horrors, had lunch and spent the rest of the day wandering around town looking in all the shops, spending over an hour in a bookshop.

Then, D and I went to back to the hostel, and hung around until M+C showed up, very pleased with themselves and toting a treble recorder made from rosewood (which Claire still owns now, along with the ebony one).

Now we are going to visit the Castle Museum, on the way to Stratford-On-Avon.

13/10

The museum was boring.

14/10

Now leaving Stradford-On-Avon for Lilla's house again. Saw Shaakespeare's birthplace, and what was left of his deathplace, after some utter {unidentified scribble} BARSTEWARD (official licensed Dad saying. Basically translates as 'prick') had it demolished (apparently, he claimed it attracted too many noisy tourists. Mind you, he is also said to have personally cut down a tree planted by Shakespeare himself, so maybe he was just jealous).

After spending the night at Lilla's, we're catching the plane to France. Next few entries should be funny, as I try out my feeble French on the natives.

14/10 6.10pm (ie, later)

My mistake; actually we were going to Beth and Jonh John's house. They're friends of ours who along with their sons Erin and Ashley, left Australia some years ago (now, in 2002, they've just come back and settled nearby. Great to have them back).

We had lunch with them, and spent several hours playing computer games and being silly with Erin and Ashley (who hadn't changed a bit, except their accents were broader).

Then we went to Now we're going to Lilla's.

16/10, 8am-ish, France, Paris

Spent the night at Lilla's and were given some last-minute presents and received my raincoat by mail (wretched thing).

Caught plane to France, and caught train to Paris. Trudged to Youth Hostel with packs. The room we're in is surprisingly good (someone left their toenail clippings in here). Had dinner in a little café (petite), and fortunately one of the guys behind the counter spoke English. While we were eating, some guy came in and started jabbering at us in French, clearly trying to sell us flowers. We kept shaking our heads at him, and he eventually went away, very good natured.

17/10 11.30pm

Went to Disneyland. It was raining, and the train took ages. Disneyland was great! My favourite ride was Thunder Mountain. Dad's favourite was the 3d Imax, Honey I Shrunk the Audience.

I refused to go on the Indiana Jones ride. Mum didn't, but she didn't enjoy it (I was about to go on it with her, but chickened out at the absolute last second, jumping over the track instead of getting in. I got to see the pitiful look on Mum's face as the infernal device carried her away, backwards). Claire liked it (because it was so noisy that she could scream really loud and no-one would hear her. Or so she thought), Dad didn't (reckoned it jarred his neck). We all liked the Pirates of the Carribean. After Disneyland, we had dinner and a quick look in Disney Village. It was nuts! (giant mushrooms, a light up McD's sign taller than three of me, to name a few). We also looked inside the Jungle Café (part of Disney Village), which was unbeleivable; with a fishtank full of tropical fish, and moving animal models on the walls (including an elephant which waved its trunk at you).

Tomorrow, we'll see the Eiffel Tower (aka, the Rifle Tower, the Trifle Tower, the Awful Tower or the Woeful Tower, to name a few).

18/10 11.25am (I meant pm, naturally)

Hanging around in our room. Claire's sock got sucked down the drain in the shower when she was cleaning it.

On the door, fire procedures are written in several languages. The English version reads; 'in case of fire, please warm the security desk'.

10.15pm

Saw the Rifle Tower and went up it.

Saw a museum of sculptures by some guy whose name started with an R (you know, the guy wot made the Thinker, which was part of the display).

19/10

Got our English £ changed into Francs at last. Saw Notre Dame, and I bought a medallion from a vending machine for 10f, and, at a stall outside, a medium size Rifle Tower for 35f (the things abounded in Paris. You couldn't walk five metres without someone trying to sell you one. Since they were such a feature of Paris, I decided to get one). We also the Law Court, and the Pompideau Centre. I stopped at a little shop and blew the rest of my money on a small gargoyle. It looks like a bulldog with wings. I have named him Moche, which is French for mean and ugly (he now resides in my room, and as a result no evil spirits have been allowed to enter).

Then we split up into M+C, D+me. M+C saw a whole lot of petshops, and, for some reason, a lone, bedraggled chicken standing in the middle of the pavement.

D+me se abc (another bloody cathedral), the outside of the Louvre, and music arcade and a monument of a pillar with one statue on top. D+I had dinner in a crêperie, which was half a cheese omlette and half a ham crêpe each, with a beer and glass of water.

We walked on, stopping on the way at a bakery for a pastry. We went back to the crêpery to ask where the Metro Subway station was. Dad said; 'excusez-moi', but when the waiter turned around he started to um and ah. Then, in a flash of 'i don't know wat', I said; 'OU EST LA METRO?' Brilliant!

Mum has bought me a Paris t-shirt, Dad bought himself one, and Claire got a Paris singlet thingy. Time to go home tomorrow >sniffle<

19/10/00 5.45am (Paris time)

I'm writing this in terrible light; we're on the plane, and they've switched the lights off for 'beddy-byes'. The only illumination is the open window-cover on the nearby window seat. It's an orange-and-gold sunset out there. We're flying Quantis this time, and compared to British Airways it's pathetic. No toothbrushes+toothpaste, no little TVs, no channel choices, boring radio, etc etc etc.

Needless to say, the twits in front of us keep wriggling around, and putting their seats back right in our faces, one is snoring and the hag in front of me had her stinking feet up on the chair in front. In short, it's pretty awful, but time is passing really fast for me. (oh yeah, the food sucks, too).

See yez later.

21/10 4.18(Sydney time)

Stopped in Singapore airport. It was really good. D+M bought some duty-free whiskey and Contreau (orange liquour, v.nice) for very cheap prices.

Nearly there now. The screen in front of our lot of seats shows boring grown-up movies now and then. We got one good movie about 4hrs ago, but the twerp just in front of me (he had switched with the hag) kept putting his hairy arms over his head, so I couldn't see. Eventually, I cracked, and said aloud (and louder than I intended) 'get your arms down!@#@$#$%#@$' fortunately, he did, without creating a scene, although needless to say I got a big lecture about keeping my stupid mouth shut.

Oh well.

It's been a fab trip, see you again when we go to {unidentified scribble}

'bye!

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